Competition

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE BUT ... THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

-1-

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life.

-2-

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

-3-

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

-4-

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

-5-

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

-6-

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not.

-7-

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

-8-

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

-9-

My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "Go To Hell".

-10-

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime

**