Bad Blondes, Whatcha Gonna Do?

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."

The Burning Building

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were on top of a burning building. When the firemen got there they stretched the trampoline out and told the brunette to jump. She jumped, then the firemen moved back and she died.
Then they moved back and told the redhead to jump. She said ''No! I saw what you just did!'' The firemen replied, ''we don't like brunettes, we won't move this time!'' So she believed them and jumped. They moved again, then returned to where they were.
Then they told the blonde to jump. She replied ''No I saw what you did to them!'' The firemen said, ''we don't like brunettes or redheads, we like blondes!'' She then said ''OK! I'll tell you what to do! All of you put the net on the ground and BACK UP!'

We Don't Swerve Blondes Here

A cop pulled over a car for swerving all over the road. The blonde at the wheel looked very confused and scared.
"What's going on here, ma'am?"
"Well, I was driving along when all of a sudden there was a tree right in my path. I swerved to miss it, but there was another tree. And after that, another, and another." The cop looked inside her car and sighed.
"Ma'am. That's your air freshener

Blonde on the Run

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in.

The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.
"Meow," says the redhead.
"It must be a cat," thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.
"Woof," says the brunette.
"Must be a dog," thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack.
"Potatoes," says the blonde.

Three Girls in the Desert

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert.

The brunette says, "I brought some water so we don't get dehydrated."

The redhead says, "I brought some suntan lotion so we don't get sunburned."

Then the blonde says I brought a car door."

The other girls said, "Why did you bring that?"

Then the blonde says, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."

Blonde with Chickens

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.
The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?''
The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!''
The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?''
The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them

Blonde on Fire

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"
The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"
The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!

Puzzling

George W. Bush is sitting in the White House kitchen putting together a puzzle and having a very difficult time of it.

The first lady comes into the kitchen, and asks what he's doing.
Very frustrated, George says, "I'm trying to do this tiger puzzle, but I can't seem to make the pieces fit right."
Laura Bush sighs and says, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box, dear, and come to bed."

Death in the Family

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.

The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.

The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''