Why others running?

Homsi: Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Homsi - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

How did you know?

Homsi in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

Cold and hot

Once Homsi was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot..

Homsi in school

How do you recognize Homsi in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

Parking fine

Homsi comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'

Homsi and the police

Homsi complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Homsi: 'I was watching TV news...'

My Times UP?

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?'

God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?'
- God replied: 'I didn't recognize you.'

Oh God

Homsi: People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Homsi: When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again..

Homsi and his wife

Homsi: If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Homsi: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Homsi and his doctor

Homsi: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night..
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Homsi: Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Homsi and his son

Homsi: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Homsi: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.